Down, But Not Out
by LudoJudo
Summary: Josh is beaten up and while Sam is taking care of him he lets him know his true feelings.


**Down, But Not Out**

Author: LudoJudo  
Summary: Josh is beaten up and Sam is there to help.  
Pairing: Josh and Sam.  
Rating: NC17. Just to be on the safe side.  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sorkin, NBC, Warner Bros. and  
probably a few other people, just not me, unfortunately:(  
Feedback: If you want to, sure.

**Down, But Not Out**

A plain black boot hit him in the back while a battered brown  
Timberland began to turn his ribs purple.

"Give us your fucking wallet!"

The man reached inside his victim's jacket and produced a black  
leather wallet, bulging with old receipts, movie tickets and travel  
stubs.

"Here."

The scared man held the wallet out as far as he could, the pain from  
his ribs taking his breath away.

"Just the cash, asshole!"

He fumbled to get the green bills out of their compartment, his  
swollen and bloody hand shaking with fear. He held the money in the  
air waiting for one of the men to take it, a fingerprint of blood  
marking the corner of one twenty-dollar bill.

"Come on."

The group began to make a speedy get away up the alley, leaving the  
bruised, broken and bloody remains of Josh Lyman.

~~~~4 Hours later~~~~

"Hey."

"Hey. I've finally finished the speech. I've spent all week on it but  
it's finally in the bag. I could probably write..."

"Can you pick me up?"

"Erh, yeah." He paused "You ok? You sound kinda, weird."

"Yeah."

"OK. Well where are you and I'll head on over."

Josh paused knowing that revealing the details of where he was would  
bring about all kinds of questions, but this was the only way he'd be  
getting out the hospital. He had no car, and no money for a taxi. Sam  
was his only hope.

"George Washington Hospital." he paused "The emergency room."

"What? Why? What happened?

"I'm fine, really. Can you come and pick me up?

"Josh, what's going on?"

"Please."

The silence just hung in the air, a small sound of desperation in the  
word "please." Sam knew Josh well enough to know when to leave it  
alone.

"OK. I'll be there. I'm heading to the ER now."

~~~~30 Minutes later~~~~

"Come in."

Sam held the door open for his injured friend while dropping his  
house keys into a dish he kept on a mahogany table in the hall. The  
keys clinked next to the spare change that had started to accumulate  
there. Once Josh and his crutches were clear he let go of the door.  
He rushed over to the sofa and began to plump some cushions, trying  
to make it as comfortable for Josh's bruised body as possible. Josh  
fell on to the sofa with a thud and a moan.

"Can I get you a drink? Not an alcoholic drink, your pills. I've got  
coffee. No not coffee, 'um..."

Josh stopped him before he could get any more flustered.

"Sam, it's fine, I'll take a bottle of water."

"Yeah, water." and with that he disappeared into the kitchen to  
search through the fridge. He returned to the sofa with a bottle and  
two glasses, he placed them on the coffee table and began to pour  
them both a glass.

"Here ya go."

"Thanks. You know I could have stayed at my own place."

"It's fine, I offered. The doctor said you shouldn't be on your own,  
and he's the expert so I'm listening to him"

"I'm fine."

"Josh, you were beaten up, and that cut'll probably leave a scar." he  
said pointing at his friend's forehead. "Just sit back, relax and  
I'll order us some food. What do you want?" he opened a little draw  
next to the sofa and started to produce takeaway menus.

"Chinese? Indian? Italian?"

"I'm not that hungry."

"OK. Well I'll order pizza and you can always have it cold later on.  
I love cold pizza."

"I know." Josh smiled. "Urm, could I, is there any chance I could  
take a shower? I think I've got dirt in my hair."

Sam jumped up and started to get flustered again.

"Oh God, yes, sorry, yeah. I'll get you a towel and I've got some  
pyjamas you can use."

"Sam will you relax?"

"Sorry." Sam ran into the bedroom and returned with pyjamas, meeting  
Josh at the bathroom. Josh stepped onto the tiled floor leaving Sam  
on the dark hardwood floor pointing at all the things he might need  
while he was in there.

"There's clean towels on the rail and shampoo and soap and other  
stuff in the cupboard under the sink, help yourself. You gonna be ok  
with the cast?

"Yeah, should be, it's Velcro it just comes off."

"OK. Well shout if you need anything."

There was an awkward silence before Josh closed the door. To be  
honest, Sam wanted to follow Josh in there and make sure he was ok,  
make sure he didn't fall, to be there for him. He decided to get  
things ready for when he came out of the shower. He dialled for a  
pepperoni pizza and then walked over to the stereo. He placed a CD on  
the table and watched the tray disappear back into the machine. The  
speakers began to pump out "Say A Little Prayer." He tried to find  
odd jobs around the apartment to occupy his mind, trying not to think  
of what Josh had been through, getting mugged in the street, in what  
Sam considered to be a pretty nice area, and being left with a  
cracked ankle, cuts and bruises. He'd just been to the cash machine  
so Sam figured they'd been watching him. Sam was grateful that they  
hadn't used the gun they'd threaten him with, Josh hadn't said much  
about it, but he knew from the police what had happened. Sam shook  
the thought from his mind, he didn't want to imagine those images  
again. He stacked a few magazines into a pile on the coffee table,  
stood and scanned the room, looking for anything that needed tidying,  
everything was in it's place, there was nothing for him to do but  
wait.

~~~~20 Minutes later~~~~

Josh exited the bathroom, wearing the black pyjama bottoms and grey t-  
shirt Sam had lent him, limping on the plastic cast the hospital had  
placed on him. He returned to his place on the sofa his wet hair  
dampening the neck of his t-shirt turning it black.

"Better?"

"Yeah. What are you listening to?"

"Oh it's new. 'All Woman.' "

"Only you could buy a CD called 'All Woman.' " Josh said, shaking his  
head.

"There's some really good singers on it, Joni Mitchell, Eva Cassidy,  
Sarah Vaughn, Aretha Franklin, Aimee Mann he said pointing to the CD  
player to indicate that that was who they were listening to.

"Whatever floats your boat."

"It's relaxing."

"So's Gregorian chanting."

"I can change it. What do you want? Soul? Rock? Classical?" Sam  
paused "The Doobie Brothers!" he said with raise eyebrows. Sam began  
to get up to change the CD. Josh grabbed hold of his arm stopping him.

"I'm joking, this is fine." He kept his hand on Sam's arm a little  
too long. His brain kicked in and he let go diverting his gaze to the  
middle of the room, not focusing on anything in particular.

"Erm, so you said you finished the speech you were working on."

"Did I?"

Josh returned his focus back to Sam.

"On the phone, you, erm, said you it was 'in the bag.' "

"Oh, yeah. Toby'll probably change most of it but..." Before he could  
continue the doorbell rang.

"That'll be the pizzas. Won't be a minute" Sam left the sofa and  
grabbed some money from the dish in the hallway, he left the door  
slighty open and ran down the stairs to the front of the building.

Josh sat alone on the sofa, the music softly spinning in the CD  
player. A piano played the intro to the song, a voice began to  
sing 'It's not, what you thought, when you first began it.' Josh  
became lost in his thoughts. The high pitch of the female voice and  
slow repetition of the piano making him remember things he didn't  
want to think about. His eyes began to fill with the unshed tears  
he'd been holding onto since the attack. Slowly they rolled down his  
cheeks, his chin started to tremble, and within seconds he was  
sobbing.

Sam climbed the stairs back to his apartment trying not to trip on  
the stairs and send the pizzas flying. That had happened more than  
once in the past. He closed the door and put the chain across, after  
what had happened to Josh you couldn't be too careful thought Sam,  
but what a little chain was going to do was anyone's guess.

"I got pepperoni, hope that's...Josh?" Sam could hear Josh crying,  
could see his back rise and fall as he re-entered the living room. He  
quickly rounded the sofa, dropping the pizza boxes on the coffee  
table. He picked up the remote and turned the CD off.

"Josh?" Sam sat down next to his friend.

"Josh?"

Josh looked down, not wanting his best friend to see him in this  
state. Sam put an arm across his shoulder to comfort him. Josh spun  
round and grabbed hold of Sam, his arms encasing him, his cheek  
rubbing against the younger man's. Guttural sounds began to make  
their way out of Josh, all the emotions he'd been bottling up from  
the alley, the hospital and in the car, trying to keep it all  
together for the doctors and police, but in the safety of Sam's  
apartment, he couldn't keep the top on the bottle any longer and the  
anger, fear and relief all came spilling out of him.

"It's ok. It's ok. It's ok." Sam said soothingly while rubbing  
circles on his back, hoping to calm his friend.

"Oh, God Sam. I was so scared. I thought it was going to happen all  
over again."

"I know. I know."

"I thought they were going to kill me."

Sam couldn't speak, he began to cry. He tried to keep it under  
control, not wanting Josh to worry about him, when he had his own  
demons to contend with.

Sam tried to speak again with a shaky voice "It's ok, you're safe."

"I know." he didn't say anything else, just continued to cry,  
grateful that the only damage was a cracked bone in his ankle, a few  
cuts, bruised ribs and a slight concussion. He continued to quietly  
cry on his friend's shoulder.

They continued to hug, sitting there holding each other while the  
seconds turned into minutes, until Josh had stopped shaking and his  
breathing had returned to normal, and he settled in Sam's arms.  
Finally, Josh pulled away from the embrace.

"I'm sorry." Josh said while he rubbed a hand over his face.

"Don't be sorry." Sam placed a hand on Josh's knee to reassure him.  
He smiled and Josh went back to hug his friend, a simple "thank you"  
for being so understanding, for being there when he needed him, for  
always being there. That's all Josh was planning on doing and before  
he knew what had happened he kissed Sam…he actually reached over and  
placed a kiss on his lips. He pulled away, shocked.

"I...I..." He blinked rapidly. "I...don't know why, I'm really sorry.  
I..." Josh swallowed hard. He started to panic and tried to avoid any  
kind of eye contact with Sam. He tried to get up off the sofa but the  
cast on his leg prevented him from getting too far.

"Josh, it's ok."

"No, I should go." He was still trying to get up when Sam placed a  
hand on his arm.

"Josh, it's fine." He slowly repeated the last line "It's fine."

Josh felt Sam's hand and turned to face him. He finally looked him in  
the eyes and there wasn't a hint of anger or disappointment, just a  
tender smile. They both looked at each other, knowing what the other  
was thinking. Sam moved first and kissed Josh, not really sure if  
this was the right time to start declaring his true feelings. They  
broke away and looked at each other, both assessing the situation.  
Josh went back in and kissed Sam, more passionately than the first  
time. He turned his head to get better access to the younger man's  
mouth. Sam parted his lips allowing Josh to enter, their tongues  
touched for the first time, Josh's heart missed a beat. Sam's tongue  
darted forward, his lips locking with Josh's, and hungrily he kissed  
his friend.

Josh broke away breathless.

"Where'd that come from?"

"I could ask you the same question." Sam said blinking rapidly.

"I...I think I've always felt it." He paused "Remember when I came to  
see you in New York and you said you and Lisa were engaged?"

Sam nodded.

"It took my breath away, Sam. I couldn't get off that street fast  
enough. That's when I knew for sure. But I've always known"

Sam smiled "When you came to New York I prayed to God that you'd come  
back and say Bartlet was the real thing. I wanted to leave Lisa for  
you."

Josh corrected him "For the campaign."

"No dumbass, for you."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Why didn't you?"

"How was I supposed to know you felt the same way?"

"Boy, when you miss the signs you really miss the signs." Sam laughed.

"Well why didn't you just tell me? 'You know, Josh I wouldn't mind  
kissing the face off you!'"

"The same reason. I wasn't a hundred percent sure you felt that way.  
I didn't want to ruin the best friendship I've ever had by saying I  
was attracted to you…in that way." He paused "If you'd been freaked  
out we wouldn't have been able to go back, it wouldn't have been the  
same."

"No." Josh said in agreement.

"No."

Josh sighed and threw his head back against the sofa, "God, we've  
wasted so much time." Josh rubbed a hand across his face, his  
emotional rollercoaster taking its toll.

"It's not been wasted. We've been together, we've spent our days  
together, just-you know-not in the biblical sense."

Josh furrowed his brow "I don't think there is actually a biblical  
sense for what we want to do. In fact I think the bible has a pretty  
clear message on this sort of thing." he said shaking a finger  
between the two of them "And that particular message is 'damnation.' "

"Yeah." Sam laughed "You just said 'what we want to do.' " He  
swallowed. "So what is it that you want to do? What do you want?"

"I yuh, I want you, I want to be with you."

"In what sense?"

"In every sense." Josh paused "And the biblical. Just don't tell Mary  
Marsh."

"Way to ruin the mood."

They both smiled at each other, then kissed again, on the clear  
understanding that this was what they both wanted, it wasn't being  
done out of sympathy for an injured friend.

"I can't believe we're finally doing this. If those thugs hadn't  
beaten you up would we be here now? Did it really have to take  
something like that to make us finally do this?"

"I don't want to think about those assholes, it's in the past,  
forgotten."

"But is it?"

"No. But I'll think about it later."

He kissed Sam again. Sam responded by placing a hand on Josh's hip.  
The kiss was deep but tender, it grew fast. The time since New York  
was too much for them both to bear any longer, all the looks and  
touches and comments coming together in this moment. Sam pulled away  
gasping for air. He was so aroused, he could feel a hard-on pressing  
against his jeans, he'd literally dreamt about this moment. He turned  
away embarrassed.

"Sam?"

A blush rose in his cheeks tipping Josh off to the reason for his  
sudden coyness.

"Do you want to take this to the 'em..." his mouth became dry on the  
last word "bedroom?"

"I've never." he looked at Josh. "You know." And Josh had a pretty  
good idea what he meant.

"Ok."

Josh smiled letting Sam know it didn't matter to him, flashing him  
the dimples that had mesmerized Sam when they first met.

"It's ok, we can go slow, we don't have to do anything you don't want  
to do."

"Have you?"

Josh swallowed hard and nodded.

"The first time in college and a few times after that." Josh quickly  
tried to reassure Sam "I'm not an expert or anything, I haven't done  
this for a long time. The campaign and work, so don't..."

Sam stopped Josh's panicked ramble with a kiss. He resumed his  
original position and placed his hand back on Josh's hip. Josh  
mirrored Sam's actions and was rewarded with a deep moan.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Josh asked wanting to make sure.  
He didn't want Sam regretting anything.

"Are you?"

"Definitely."

"Ok then." Sam smiled.

"You might have to help me to the bedroom."

They slowly made their way along the hallway to Sam's bedroom. Josh  
limped the distance, the cast making one leg longer than the other.  
He was greeted by a stylish, modern room, a large leather bedstead  
was against the left wall and welcomed them for the evening. Sam  
gently sat Josh on the side of the bed, the mattress dipping at the  
weight.

"This is ridiculous, you've had a night from hell, you're injured,  
upset, and all I can think about is jumping your bones! I don't want  
you to think I'm taking advantage."

"You want to jump my bones. Sam Seaborn wants to jump my bones!" He  
began to laugh.

"I'm serious."

"So am I. Do you think I'd be here if I didn't want to be? I HAVE had  
a night from hell, but this will make me feel a whole lot better."  
Josh wiggled his eyebrows and flashed his dimples. The smile faded,  
becoming serious for a moment, not wanting Sam to think tonight was  
just casual sex. "When I was in that alley I felt scared and alone"  
he paused hoping he wasn't about to start crying again. "I don't feel  
that now. Besides, I think we've waited long enough."

Sam's eyes glazed over, his blue iris' sparkling in the lamp light.

"You're not gonna cry, are you?"

"Nah." Sam looked up hoping the tears that were forming wouldn't  
fall.

Josh tugged on the bottom of Sam's black sweater pulling him down to  
his level, he planted delicate kisses on his lips sending Sam crazy  
with desire. Sam stood upright, overlapped his arms across his body,  
grabbing handfuls of his sweater and, in one smooth action, removed  
the lightweight garment, revealing a toned, well tanned chest. He  
paused for a moment noticing how much Josh seemed to like the view.  
He reached forward and gently cupped Josh's cheek, he then removed  
the borrowed t-shirt Josh was wearing. Josh slowly lifted his arms  
to help with Sam's quest. Josh's chest was a Connecticut shade of  
white, a purple bruise across his ribs the only colour. Sam moved his  
hands to Josh's waist and began to pull at the elastic on the pyjama  
bottoms, figuring it would be easier to take them off now. Josh  
stood, resting all his weight on his good leg and his hands on Sam's  
shoulders for support. Sam placed his hands inside the waistband of  
Josh's pyjamas. His hands began sliding down Josh's hips disposing of  
the bottoms and taking the boxer shorts at the same time. Josh  
suddenly felt exposed, he sat back on the bed hoping to spare some of  
his dignity. Sam quickly got rid of his jeans not wanting Josh to  
feel uncomfortable. Josh was surprised how forward Sam was, for a  
novice. He was taking the lead, and under the circumstances Josh  
thought that it might be best, he didn't really have the strength to  
act as the dominant one tonight and since it was Sam's first time it  
might be better to let him take control, to do as much as he felt  
comfortable with.

He used what strength he had to slide himself to the middle of the  
bed and lay down, his head and upper body resting on the over-plumped  
pillows. Sam followed suit and joined him on the bed sitting at  
Josh's feet, looking up and down the older man's body.

"Err, are you staying down there?"

"Just admiring the view." Sam grinned.

"Well you'll get a close up if you come here."

Sam began to crawl up the bed, positioning himself between Josh's  
thighs. His stomach resting on Josh's abdomen, he leaned closer to  
Josh until they were face to face. Josh's chest began to rise and  
fall with nerves, the man he loved, who he's lusted after was naked  
between his thighs. It's everything he'd ever wanted, but it was also  
more scary than being in that alley. At least there he knew what was  
happening. He was being robbed, beaten and hopefully not killed, but  
this was going to lead to all kinds of problems. He didn't fully know  
what was going to happen, but with a naked Sam between his legs, he  
didn't really care. The kiss on the sofa was one thing but this was  
something else altogether. He gulped back the saliva that was  
threatening to drown him and hoped Sam would say something. As if the  
gods were listening, Sam spoke.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah."

"'Cause you seem, you don't seem, you seem nervous."

"I am. Can you just kiss me or something, the anticipation is killing  
me!"

Sam met Josh's request and kissed him. The breath Josh had been  
holding disappeared into Sam's mouth in the form of a moan. Josh  
moved a hand to Sam's back, gently squeezing the tanned skin between  
his fingertips. His palm began to run the length of Sam's body,  
resting it on Sam's ass. He pulled his hand towards himself taking  
Sam with him, his erection fighting with Sam's.

Sam began rocking back and forth, the friction sending him all too  
close. He decided to change positions before it was all over. Sam  
moved straddling Josh's good leg giving him access to Josh's  
erection. He rolled his fingers around the length and began to slowly  
move his hand. Josh's chest began to rise and fall with passion. He  
closed his eyes trying to focus on not cumming, not yet. He chanted  
it over and over in his mind "Not yet, not yet." he'd waited so long  
for this moment he didn't want it to be over so soon.

"Is this ok?" Sam said nervously.

Josh opened his eyes and met with Sam's. He nodded "Yeah." letting  
out a raspy breath. He moved a hand to the back of Sam's head and  
pulled him in for a kiss. The mix of Sam's hand and Sam's mouth both  
on his body sending him all too close to the edge. He broke his lips  
away and gave a breathy moan. "Sam." He repeated his name  
again "Arhh, Sam."

Sam sped up his movements, his hand moving up and down the erection  
with speed, his thumb occasionally rubbing at the head. Josh arched  
his back. Sam continued kissing Josh while at the same time tightened  
his grip on Josh. He listened to Josh's moans and watched as he  
pushed his hips forward his his warm palm. He decided to slow his  
movements a little. He didn't want it to be over before it had begun.

His lips began to trace kisses along his jawbone, down his neck, a  
gentle kiss on his Adam's apple and the tongue licked in the dip by  
his collarbone. Josh's chest rose at the sensation Sam smiled that he  
was getting such a positive response. He silently continued licking a  
wet tongue over Josh's erect nipples, he sucked and nibbled at the  
sensitive tissue. He placed a delicate kiss over the bruise on his  
rib and continued on his downward journey stopping on route to tease  
Josh's bellybutton and then he was at his final destination. Josh  
watched Sam, he tried to speak, Sam shushed him. He settled between  
Josh's legs and leaned down taking in the head of Josh's cock to his  
lips. He strained his eyes to Josh and watched his reaction as he  
licked at the weeping head. Josh let out a moan and threw his head  
back. Sam thought that at least he was doing something right. He  
circled his tongue around and around the member until it had  
disappeared into his mouth. His head began to bob up and down taking  
the erection in and out of the warmth of his mouth. Josh began to  
buck, he tried to control it. He didn't want to scare Sam off. But if  
anything Sam loved the reaction, he sped up and within moments Josh's  
body tensed as he came.

Sam pulled his mouth off Josh and swallowed, he'd have to get used to  
that he thought. He crawled out of Josh's legs and curled up next to  
him on the bed reaching down to the bed covers that he'd folded over  
at the bottom of the bed, he pulled a couple of the sheets up to  
cover their naked bodies. Josh looked at Sam.

"What about you?"

"I'm fine."

"Do you want me to...?"

"Very much, but I think you should rest. There's no rush is there?"

"No."

"We can do this again right?"

"Only if you want to."

"That's a yes, then." Sam quietly jumped out of bed and ran naked  
into the living room.

"Where are you going?" Josh called after him.

Sam ignored the question and disappeared into the living room. When  
he returned he had a bottle of water and a pizza box. He grabbed the  
TV remote off the night-stand and flicked through the channels until  
he found some old black and white film. He opened the pizza box,  
picked up the biggest slice and bit down on the pointed end, he  
looked at Josh and presented the same slice to him. Josh took a bite  
and wrapped an arm around Sam.

"I could get used to this."

"Cold pizza's the best."

"I meant this." moving his left hand in a swirling motion of take in  
entire image of them in bed.

"Now that's even better than cold pizza."

THE END.


End file.
